Beware of Bow Ties

Memorial weekend at the airport has a bit more security than normal. Im not sure what you call the guys and gals who wear uniforms that resemble park rangers... but they were at every turn. As usual, I get through security and to my seat with no issue. Sit down, get my tasty, ice cold, pre-departure adult beverage from the nice business class flight attendant, pull out my ipod and my book and Im ready to head to PA for the weekend. Then, in walks a man so tall that he had to hover through the plane with his head bent down all while wearing suspenders and a bright red bow tie. Guess where he sat? Yep. Right next to me. Now, generally, I am not one of those overly friendly flying buddies who like to carry on conversations while I travel, but this man didnt seem to get that impression from me. From the moment he sat down with his rather large bag of fruity candy he was nothing but verbiage... and all thrown in my direction. He talked for much of the time about Pittsburgh and filled me in on a few secrets.


1. It is illegal to drive with snow on your car. Good to know, I suppose. I can understand not driving with snow on the windshield as that would be quite idiotic (or, in Pittsburghese... lunch head-ish) but getting the snow off of the entire car? Seems like a big task if you ask me.


2. It is perfectly normal for those residing in Pittsburgh to make the right lane of a roadway into street parking. This I have actually witnessed. It really is not uncommon to be driving down a road, with 2 lanes in either direction, and the right lane all of a sudden becomes parking. Its odd but apparently legal, according to Mr. Bow Tie.


3. Downtown Pittsburgh is surrounded by water. The only way to access the city is by bridge. This I do know to be true, as there are 3 rivers that surround it. However,  he proceeded to state the following: "Imagine if a terrorist blew up all of the bridges that led into the city. Everyone in the city would be stuck with no way out. It would be the perfect plot and is a very scary thought." Scary thought? Absolutely. Scary thought while flying mid-air next to the fool who has a brain that thinks in this manner? Even scarier.


It was at this point that I put in my headphones and turned to stare out the window for the next 2 hours. The funniest part of the whole trip was once we had landed in Pittsburgh, Mr. Bow Tie proceeded to pull out his United Airlines badge and place it on the front of his shirt. Yeah. I sure hope United has strict background checks for its employees, as well as a bit of  psychological testing, too.


Note to self: Carry an inflatable raft when entering the city.


On a lighter note... (and thankfully I am still alive to have one...)


I love fireworks. There is something magical about the whole adventure. The waiting and anticipating, staring up at the sky watching the beautiful colors, shapes, etc. Trying to guess... "oooh there are tons right now, I bet this is the finale... " and then, "nope, not yet." This is how it went while watching  PNC Park's fireworks after the Pirates game on Saturday night. They have fireworks on the river after games quite often. And, let me tell you, it is the biggest, best fireworks display I have ever witnessed. And, it is not even the 4th of July. Can you imagine? Rumor has it you cannot even get close to the city on Independence Day and I can see why. At any rate... here is the view we had from across the river:

We were directly in front of the fireworks barge. It was spectacular. And, well, the whole thing made me feel a bit warm and foozy, too. Combined, of course, with a slight bit of paranoia thanks to Mr. Bow Tie. You know, sitting on the inside of the city, next to the bridge, hearing loud booms... dont judge, it would have made you paranoid, too! I survived. And so did the bridges.


I will close with one last lesson about Pittsburgh....


Allegheny County is a dry county. It was HOT in Pittsburgh over the weekend and what can quench your thirst when your blood is boiling?! BEER! Where I am from in Florida, you can purchase a beer just about anywhere.... gas stations, drugstores, grocery stores, etc. Where can you buy beer in Pittsburgh? Only at a beer store. Or a bar. Hmm. And how does the beer store sell beer? By the case. Thank heavens I was thirsty. I went for one beer, I had to buy 24. This law seems a bit ridiculous and twisted. In their effort to keep me from drinking a beer, they got me to drink 24. Someone should bring this to their attention... Bottoms up!

"Im one of those regular weird people" ~ Janis Joplin