Jagoff Does Not Equal Friendly

Friendly: adjective. Like a friend; kind; characteristic of or befitting a friend; showing friendship.

To use in a sentence: I thought I would find friendly in Pittsburgh.

Reality: Friendly in Pittsburgh is... eh...not so much.

Ok, well, its a far cry from South Florida. BUT... they need a lot of work up here. My perfect perception in my little perfect Pittsburgh bubble keeps deflating faster than our gas prices are rising here (over 20 cents in the last week!)

I recently went down to the strip to do a little sightseeing and shopping. Not sure if you remember me telling you or not, but this is another area where you see black and yellow for miles. The most recent thing I have been seeing are shirts with this:

So I decided to start up a convo with one of the guys selling them in bulk (or so it seemed). This is how it went:

Me: "So, just out of curiosity, what does the hand symbol mean?"

The Jagoff: "If you dont know then I aint telling you.."

Me: "How am I supposed to know if you wont tell me?" I think this is a completely legit question.

The Jagoff: as he shakes his head "Go watch the movie 'Dude Wheres My Car."

Me: Really? Dude Wheres My Car? Ashton Kutcher's so-called claim to fame stoner flick that I was humored by at the age of about 21? And this man... who was probably 30 years my senior... is telling me to watch it just to understand their stupid hand signal? My thought? If you have to go all the way back to a crappy movie such as 'Dude Wheres My Car" to find the meaning of what Pittsburghers like to do with their hands at baseball games, it must not be too special. I walk away, calling him a jagoff under my breath.

Then, like a fool, I came home and looked up the video. Quite frankly, I still dont get it. If you do... please fill me in.

Needless to say, this dude on the strip is not the first rude one I have encountered here. I guess we are all human and we all have bad days. And... it is evident that we all like to take it out on other people. Even in Pittsburgh.

Hang on... Im switching subjects...

If I were in South Florida this time of year, it would probably be hot. Super hot. Humid. Super humid. And there would be thunderstorms every single afternoon. Big dark clouds that would roll in from the west just in time to flood the roads for rush hour. My entire life I have hated this time of year.

However, it has been B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L. here in my new city. It is in the high 70's/low 80's during the day and in the 50's at night. The trees are beginning to turn...  

though I keep hearing that it is a bit early for that to be happening. Personally, I think we are going to have a rough winter this year. I say this because I think mother nature is going to test me... you know, since everyone says I wont be able to handle winter. No matter what she brings, I am ready for her. Bring it on, ol' lady.  

Because it has been so beautiful out, I have spent alot of time exploring. This past weekend we spent 6.5 hours at Kennywood. For those of you who dont know what that is... its an amusement park that has apparently been around forever. In fact, I believe they have one the oldest wooden rollercoasters in the U.S. that is still functioning. Did I go on it? No way, Jose. You put those 3 words in the same sentence and I am hauling booty the other way... Oldest. Wooden. Rollercoaster. I. think. not... With a H-E-Double hockey sticks NO!

The park itself was neat, though. It was small and homey. Lots to see.... a parade full of marching bands, shows of kids singing (Steelers & Pirates songs, of course), a strange creepy girl (I think) dressed in leopard and acting like one who scared me out of the bathroom (thats a story for another day...), cheap eats (I devoured a bunch of cotton candy and Im not ashamed to say so), laser shows, rides, fair games (where you can win stuffed prizes that come in... you guessed it... black and yellow). It was just a good night out with good memories. Apparently it is something that all Pittsburghers have grown up doing. I felt like I was one of them that night... only friendlier.

And last but not least.... I must share the new song that I learned. Enjoy! (And laugh)... CLICK HERE!!

"Im one of those regular weird people" ~ Janis Joplin

It's Dark in Here...

Let's see.. Since the last post, I have encountered more of Pittsburgh and have transitioned into calling this my home. Which, by the way, is a very, very good feeling.

First off, my latest discovery: Schenley Park. This park is HUGE. It has rolling hills and hiking trails. It is home next to the Botanical Gardens and Consevatory, the University of Pittsburgh, the Natural History Museum... and on and on and on... In fact, I think it is safe to say that this is my favorite area of Pittsburgh.

What I think is the neatest thing is that, on Sundays and Wednesdays, Schenley Park has "Cinema in the Park." They put up a huge screen and everyone can bring their own blankets, food, drink, etc and sit back and watch a movie. I have gone on each of these nights. What amazes me is how it is so incredibly hot, but as you watch the sun set over the buildings of the University of Pitt, it begins to cool... far cry from Florida. Its beautiful, fun and calming.

There is always a downfall, right? Yes. The downfall of Schenley Park? Its lack of built-in bathrooms...

The downfall of this beautiful night outside at the movies? My bladder is the size of a pea. Look, Im a girl. And, quite honestly, I dont do well with squatting. In dark bathrooms like above. Especially if they are leaning. Do you see where I am heading? I spent my Wednesday night at the movies relaxing on my blanket while layin on my stomach... this is because while attempting to hover my 5'2 body over a toilet in the dark while the entire thing was planted on the ground at an angle that caused my pee to go where? You guessed it... straight  down, but angled forward... right onto my shorts. Not to mention, I did all of this while not breathing. I know, I know, gross and a bit too much information. I know that I didnt need to share this story, but, it just wouldnt be right if I didnt. Its the downfall of Schenley Park and it sat on my tush all night.

Next experience I have had? I drove downtown alone... This goes back to the blog that said there would be six signs wanting to lead me in six different directions... I knew where I was going, but I was still nervous. Its confusing. The roads here are so odd. Most have street lights on the sides at the corners. Last I knew, street lights were supposed to be up where everyone could see them... not in Pittsburgh. I spent most of my time trying to find where the light was to see if it was green or not... and realized afterwards that I didnt even pay attention to pedestrians! It could have been a disastrous trip, I suppose. All in all... I did it, only got lost once... and didnt kill anybody. Thankfully. The scariest part? The Fort Pitt tunnel.

I dont do well in tunnels. And, in this one, you cannot see the other side so it is extra scary to me. To top it off... there are lights that, as you are driving through, could be enough to send an epileptic into a seizure!! I dont know what they were thinking... I even had to close my eyes a few times!!

Just watch this video... (warning, if you are prone to seizures, please close your eyes if you are watching this in a dark room. haha)

At any rate, it was a fear of mine that has now been conquered. The big bad tunnel and the big bad city were ok to me. They didnt swallow me up and spit me out. They simply twisted me in circles, got me lost, then found... I'll get it next time.

Last but not least, another thing I have learned about my new city is that there are many, many storms... but their bark is MUCH louder than their bite. They roll on in to Pittsburgh, thundering and lightening, and then a little bit of rain and its gone. Now, I am sure they have some bad storms from time to time. But, after living in Florida all my life and experiencing a Florida afternoon thunderstorm on a daily basis throughout the summer, it makes Pittsburgh storms look like little red riding hood to the big bad wolf.

What I find so comical is that they interrupt programming, place a beeping warning along the bottom of the tv screen, radio DJ's warn the audience, everyone rushes to take cover...pulling out the lanterns and candles... because a storm is coming in....then...drip, drop.... its done. Mother nature is probably going to scorn me for making fun... but, frankly, I just cant help it. It has rained more days than it has been sunny since Ive been here... and each day was treated the same. Live through a hurricane, Pittsburghers... then we can talk.

Thats about it, for now...'til next time...  

"Im one of those regular weird people" ~ Janis Joplin

And The Bubble Goes Pop

I have been busy trying to re-employ myself, visiting the wave pool (which mocks my beach but is better than the lake), and learning about my new city. I am so glad that I made my move and each and every day I learn something new. Some things surprise me, others dont. But what I have discovered is this: my new reality is that my old reality of Pittsburgh was not a reality at all. Got it? It was a perfect bubble of what I thought Pittsburgh really was. Now, I am learning what it is like to actually live here and my perfect little Pittsburgh bubble had to pop faster than I could scream "JAGOFF!" Am I ready to leave? Not for a million bucks. What I am ready for, however, is to fill you in on what my new life is encountering.

Previous bubble buddy; new reality:


1. Wasps and/or Hornets and/or anything else that flies, buzzes and stings. They are everywhere!! And in mass quantities. Pools, doors, cars, porches, water fountains. You name it, they will be there. Crazy. I think I may introduce some wasp and/or Hornet and/or anthing else that flies, buzzes and stings spray to these folks. It really does work if  you use it.


2. Speaking of wasps and/or Hornets and/or anything else that flies, buzzes and stings, there are the oddest bugs up here. They have tons of spiders, flys, beetles and lightening bugs (not sure of their "proper" name) as well as these horribly ugly creatures:

The house centipede. I about flipped my lid when I first encountered one of these coming out of the drain in the bathtub. Thankfully I was still dressed and could scream for backup. After looking them up, I now see that they can sting similar to bees and wasps. Go figure.


3. Heat. Folks were lying when they named Florida the 'Sunshine State.' It is sunnier and hotter here than in Florida. I cant count the amount of times I have heard "Oh you are from Florida so you must be used to this heat, right?" Um, heck no. It is a different kind of heat. One that sizzles your skin like its frying up bacon... and, with no ocean breeze, you can even smell it frying! Horrible. But I am fond of the lovely shade of tan I am turning. Thank you, sun of Pittsburgh. By the way, I cannot wait until fall. Ahh...

4. People. They are nice. I was correct when I said that. They are alot more friendly than those in south Florida. Strangers will have conversations with you, people actually may wave when you drive by, etc. But, I have encountered my fair share of rudeness. Dang it, Pittsburgh, I liked my prior perception. Now I know that rude people have infested all parts of the country. Hip Hip Hooray.


One thing I have noticed is that I find myself being friendlier at times. I contribute this to the fact that I have about a 90% chance of getting a kind, friendly response here vs. a 10% chance in my prior city.


5. When I said you can purchase Steelers stuff everywhere, I wasnt joking. Even in July. I was at the grocery store... Giant Eagle... and after I paid for my groceries and was leaving, look at what I saw:

Their own little store inside the grocery store. Unbelievable.


Need a new purse? How about one of these 'new-for-summer styles':

Raining? Dont forget to pick up an umbrella or poncho:

I cant wait until I go back and read this blog 3 years from now as I finish washing my black car with yellow pinstripe and black and yellow spinners. Oh, and, of course, my "Go Steelers!" bumper sticker. This will have all been done while wearing my Rothlesberger jersey and black and yellow flip flops.


Then again, I shall not be a traitor. I will keep reminding myself of this so that I do not fall under the spell of Pittsburghers' black and yellow brainwashing!


6. Learning my way around has not been as difficult as I thought it would be. Thus far, I have not gotten lost. I can say, though, that having a car with a large hood makes it difficult to see as you are going around curves that are going uphill. It makes it feel like my car and I shall be dropping off into the unknown on the other side. Scary, but fun.


Thats about it for now... more to come as my new reality forms itself...


Sees ya!

"Im one of those regular weird people" ~ Janis Joplin

1,118 Miles of a Truck's Butt

1,118 miles. That is how far the trip was. Let's see... once I  left Florida, we went through Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia and finally Pennsylvania. It was one heck of a long drive.

Most of the trip was rather boring... trees and road. In fact, my view was this:

Yes, I followed this yellow Penske truck for 1,118 miles. At first it was kinda hard following something for so long that I couldnt see beyond... but by mile 542 I found comfort in the little truck. My eyes stared into the yellow sea of nothingness and daydreamed about the adventure I was embarking on. I was told over and over by the person behind me that my car was swaying all over the road. Perhaps that is why!

The Carolinas were beautiful. This warmed me, in more ways than one:

I LOVE cajun boiled peanuts. And, since I could never get them in south Florida and I surely wont be able to find them in Pittsburgh... picking them up when we stopped for gas was a MUST. And, to top it off, while I was chowing down on the boiled peanuts, I was staring out at all of the wildflowers that were found in the Carolinas. Beautiful! If my hands werent sticky from the nuts, I wouldve taken a picture!

Next up? Virginia... which had a very welcoming sign in their "Welcome Station" Rest Area:

When you walk into the bathroom, this sign was on every single mirror. It made me want to run to my car, put on my seatbelt and speed through their state to get to the other side. Um, Im not going to be the next fatality. How dare you even think like that! It had somewhat of a Final Destination-type effect on me. "Welcome to Virginia... its time to play... you are the next contestant on 'Are You Virginia's Next Traffic Fatality'!?!" I guess that is how they keep outsiders away.

Oh, West Virginia... how you are not much better, maybe even worse than regular ol' Virginia. Mountains, mountains, and more mountains. Did I mention there are mountains in West Virginia? Speaking of such.... Never Again!!! I felt like I was on a roller coaster for hours! My stomach spent most of the afternoon in my throat and in my hand I held a plastic bag so I could vomit as I drove. Awful, eh? We had to stop just to let my stomach settle. And... dont forget my ears were clogged and popping and my face felt swollen from my sinuses. Lovely. I dont think I will be re-visiting anytime soon. If ever.

All in all... It took us 3 cars, 2 days, 1 overnight hotel stay, and 6 people.... but we made it to Pittsburgh, unloaded the truck, unpacked, and got settled... in less than a week.

So far I havent had time to confront those worries... but I will keep yinz posted as I knock them down, one by one, with my mad ninja skills.
  

"Im one of those regular weird people" ~ Janis Joplin

Jittery Jit.. Jit..Jitters...

This is it. By the time this posts, I will have just about 4 more days as a Florida resident. Then, I will be on the long 18-hour trekk to Pittsburgh in a mini caravan of cars and a moving truck that contains every material possession I have accumulated. Scary? A bit.


I had no idea I would react the way that I am. All of the worries that I previously blogged about... I am about ready to face them head-on. It was not as big of a deal just writing about them as it is knowing that I am going to have to reach my hand out and greet them. And, of course, battle with them, fight them, throw them down and stomp on them. Im going to need alot of energy for that! Good thing I have kept my ninja skills out of the moving truck and in my back pocket.


I feel sad leaving friends and family.... I dont want to cry, but I know that I will. Im a barrel of emotions when it comes to things like that. A farewell party? I will have to warm up my vocals singing... "Its my party and I'll cry if I want to... " Maybe I can stick some tissue under my eyes and hold it on with a rubber band around my head.


The sad thing is I dont really know why I would be crying. Yes, I am leaving. Yes, I am going to miss people. But, it is not like I am not going to see them ever again. Heck, its not even like I see them all the time now! So what is the big deal?! Here is what I discovered....


My crying is a response of energy and emotions that have been built up over the last few months. I think my body doesnt know a better way to get it out. So, why not cry? Why, thank you... I think I will.


My competition... here. :-)


On the flip side, every daydream I have had for the last several months is becoming a reality. I am extremely excited. When I was younger, I feared change. But, as I have grown, I embrace it; welcome it. With that said... I look forward to:


1. Fighting with the Steelers.
2. Sliding down a hill on ice while driving someone else's car.
3. Carrying, but never having to use, my blow up raft to exit the city.
4. Learning a new language.
5. Making new friends.
6. Getting lost.
7. Getting lost.
8. Getting lost.
9. Learning how the use the GPS on my phone so I dont get lost.
10. Not having to fear lizards.
11. Seeing the change of seasons and raking leaves in the fall. (Then jumping in them as I have seen in movies. haha. Though, I am sure, as an adult, it wont feel as nice)
12. Making snow angels.
13. Discovering new places.
14. Learning to love the LAKE.
15. Hiking trails... that dont go on a flat sidewalk next to a stinky canal or swamp.


Well, that is about it. Im a ball of emotions - anxious, scared, excited, sad, dreamy - but I guess that is what new adventures are all about. It took forever for this day to arrive... next post? From my home in Pittsburgh, PA. Sees ya (Pittsburghese)

"Im one of those regular weird people" ~ Janis Joplin

Beware of Bow Ties

Memorial weekend at the airport has a bit more security than normal. Im not sure what you call the guys and gals who wear uniforms that resemble park rangers... but they were at every turn. As usual, I get through security and to my seat with no issue. Sit down, get my tasty, ice cold, pre-departure adult beverage from the nice business class flight attendant, pull out my ipod and my book and Im ready to head to PA for the weekend. Then, in walks a man so tall that he had to hover through the plane with his head bent down all while wearing suspenders and a bright red bow tie. Guess where he sat? Yep. Right next to me. Now, generally, I am not one of those overly friendly flying buddies who like to carry on conversations while I travel, but this man didnt seem to get that impression from me. From the moment he sat down with his rather large bag of fruity candy he was nothing but verbiage... and all thrown in my direction. He talked for much of the time about Pittsburgh and filled me in on a few secrets.


1. It is illegal to drive with snow on your car. Good to know, I suppose. I can understand not driving with snow on the windshield as that would be quite idiotic (or, in Pittsburghese... lunch head-ish) but getting the snow off of the entire car? Seems like a big task if you ask me.


2. It is perfectly normal for those residing in Pittsburgh to make the right lane of a roadway into street parking. This I have actually witnessed. It really is not uncommon to be driving down a road, with 2 lanes in either direction, and the right lane all of a sudden becomes parking. Its odd but apparently legal, according to Mr. Bow Tie.


3. Downtown Pittsburgh is surrounded by water. The only way to access the city is by bridge. This I do know to be true, as there are 3 rivers that surround it. However,  he proceeded to state the following: "Imagine if a terrorist blew up all of the bridges that led into the city. Everyone in the city would be stuck with no way out. It would be the perfect plot and is a very scary thought." Scary thought? Absolutely. Scary thought while flying mid-air next to the fool who has a brain that thinks in this manner? Even scarier.


It was at this point that I put in my headphones and turned to stare out the window for the next 2 hours. The funniest part of the whole trip was once we had landed in Pittsburgh, Mr. Bow Tie proceeded to pull out his United Airlines badge and place it on the front of his shirt. Yeah. I sure hope United has strict background checks for its employees, as well as a bit of  psychological testing, too.


Note to self: Carry an inflatable raft when entering the city.


On a lighter note... (and thankfully I am still alive to have one...)


I love fireworks. There is something magical about the whole adventure. The waiting and anticipating, staring up at the sky watching the beautiful colors, shapes, etc. Trying to guess... "oooh there are tons right now, I bet this is the finale... " and then, "nope, not yet." This is how it went while watching  PNC Park's fireworks after the Pirates game on Saturday night. They have fireworks on the river after games quite often. And, let me tell you, it is the biggest, best fireworks display I have ever witnessed. And, it is not even the 4th of July. Can you imagine? Rumor has it you cannot even get close to the city on Independence Day and I can see why. At any rate... here is the view we had from across the river:

We were directly in front of the fireworks barge. It was spectacular. And, well, the whole thing made me feel a bit warm and foozy, too. Combined, of course, with a slight bit of paranoia thanks to Mr. Bow Tie. You know, sitting on the inside of the city, next to the bridge, hearing loud booms... dont judge, it would have made you paranoid, too! I survived. And so did the bridges.


I will close with one last lesson about Pittsburgh....


Allegheny County is a dry county. It was HOT in Pittsburgh over the weekend and what can quench your thirst when your blood is boiling?! BEER! Where I am from in Florida, you can purchase a beer just about anywhere.... gas stations, drugstores, grocery stores, etc. Where can you buy beer in Pittsburgh? Only at a beer store. Or a bar. Hmm. And how does the beer store sell beer? By the case. Thank heavens I was thirsty. I went for one beer, I had to buy 24. This law seems a bit ridiculous and twisted. In their effort to keep me from drinking a beer, they got me to drink 24. Someone should bring this to their attention... Bottoms up!

"Im one of those regular weird people" ~ Janis Joplin

Stranger Danger!

I feel like this blog should start with this...

Its been a tough ride. You know, that in-between stage where one is neither here nor there, but rather stuck in the middle of a vortex. I am trying to get to Pittsburgh with an official move date about a month away, but I am still stuck in Florida and the forces in my little vortex are keeping me here... for now. Though I must say I am slowly s..u..f..f..o..c..a..t..i..n..g.


While I can still breathe, lets move on...


The funniest thing I have learned is that all of the friends whom I havent seen in years and some I have barely spoken to in quite some time are all rushing to tell me... "oh we sooo need to get together before you move!"


My response? "WHY?!"


This concept baffles me. Why now? Why... after 34 years of living in the same area of the state, mind you...  are you just now wanting to get together? Are you afraid that when I move you wont see me anymore? Because, really, you havent seen me in years. So, technically, I could still be living here and we still wouldnt see each other.

Maybe it is is proper etiquette. Maybe when one family moves, all of the other stepford wives get together and say, "Well, I suppose we should throw a party for Alice because according to Peggy Post's recent article, etiquette guide #423 states that, when one member of a community leaves, all other members must make her feel special because soon she will be alone in a new place and, until the new stepford wives bring her a fresh baked apple pie, she is going to feel alone." Um, yeah.

Or, maybe it is good riddance? I wouldnt mind a (mutual) good riddance party...

The truth of the matter is... if you havent physically been in my life over the last several years, then there really isnt a need for me to see you when I go. Those who have played a role in my life will get my time. Who would have thought this would even be an issue? If anyone knows why this is our nature, please enlighten me with your comments... And, for all the loners with no friends... if you want some... just say you are moving.

Before I get blasted by hateful email from friends who read this blog... I do want to see you before I go. Its safe to say that because those other people who want to grab dinner or drinks to "catch up" before I go probably dont even know this even exists. Only my friends do.

"Im one of those regular weird people" ~ Janis Joplin